Every single episode is like pure gold. They don’t sugarcoat life – they talk about challenging, important issues. Ya know, the kinda stuff therapists love.
The most recent episode was entitled: “Our Bodies: Why are we at war with them and can we ever make peace?” It’s highly worth a listen.
Glennon made a statement during the episode that I’ve been pondering on for the last few days. She said, “We only control things we don’t trust.” She was talking about this in the context of our relationship with our bodies – but I’ve been thinking about how much this statement relates to our relationship with others, and with ourselves.
I’m really good at giving advice to my husband, Warren. Seriously, just ask him. I have an opinion about everything. When he brings up an issue that’s weighing heavy on him, I spring into action saying, “Well, love, have you thought about it like this?,” or “How about you just say this?,” or “You know, I heard this quote the other day that’s really relevant here…” 🙄
What Glennon’s statement helped me realize is that, often, I’m trying to control Warren’s response to a given situation. In doing so, I’m inadvertently saying that I don’t trust him to solve his own problems. But that’s not true – I think Warren is super smart and very compassionate. He forges incredible relationships with his friends and family and he has always been successful in work. He also routinely answers more Jeopardy questions correctly than I do.
Given this, I’ve been trying to think about some alternate responses when Warren, or any of my friends or family members, share challenging things with me. Here are a few I came up with:
- Thank you for sharing that with me. Is there more you want to say about it?
- That sounds so hard. What’s your inner wisdom telling you about what to do next?
- You’ve solved so many problems just like this. I know you’ll know what to do here.
I think these statements are pretty relevant for our clients as well. Often, we get into the habit of thinking that we are supposed to know exactly how to solve their problems. But, as we all know, the purpose of therapy is to empower our clients to solve their own problems – using the strengths and wisdom they already possess.
There is a wisdom that lives in our bodies. Amanda, Glennon’s sister, talks about this in the episode and I think many of us have experienced it to be true. Our job as therapists, and as human beings, is to listen to our inner wisdom and to help our clients listen to theirs.
What do you think? Have you found this inner wisdom to be a guiding light in your own life? I’d love to hear your thoughts or reflections.